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ONE MINUTE MELEE: Hercule Satan vs Paul Blart
Hercule Satan vs Paul Blart is Ahomeschoolingroudon's 3rd One Minute Melee of his Fourth Season, and his first joke fight of said season. It features Hercule Satan from Dragon Ball Z against Paul Blart from Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Description It's a battle of laughable characters in their series. Both two protectors of Earth or, A Mall..but who will win? And who's sides will hurt? Interlude 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! ONE MINUTE MELEE! Fight New Jersey Shopping Mall Day-Time (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tpa39QhJbHc) Paparazzi and civilians were quickly rushing to the local New Jersey Shopping Mall, as it was being told that the quote on quote “Savior of humanity” was there, this “Savior of humanity” was Hercule Satan. Hercule proudly marched down the halls of the New Jersey Shopping Mall, whilst the paparazzi and civilians followed closely behind him. Hercule however expressed no emotion but pride to them. Hercule just continued to march, with his eyes closed now as the paparazzi were spamming their cameras. But this caused an accident which would’ve been avoidable at the time. Hercule while marching failed to see a display case that was right in front of him, and he bumped directly into it. Hercule was on the third floor of the New Jersey Shopping Mall, and the display case came tumbling down those floors. Meanwhile, there was the lone Mall Cop, otherwise known as a security guard for the mall. This security guard was none other than Paul Blart, who gotten his hands on a Hershey Kiss. But he was in the falling path of the display case that was falling directly above him, when Blart was about to eat the Hershey Kiss he was struck by the display case, causing him to drop the Hershey Kiss to the ground and he himself falling over. Blart got up to see that his favorite candy was now on the ground, and was no longer suitable. In a fit of frustration, he looked up to see Hercule who was trying to cover up this mistake to the public. The public was beginning to believe him, until 5 minutes passed and Blart road his Segway out of the elevator and to where Hercule was. “That was my Hershey Kiss! And you’re wrecking Mall property, I’ll have to take security action!” Blart exclaimed. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vixH9xTQGnU) Hercule let out a battle cry at Blart, “Let’s get it on!” Hercule responded as he got into a fighting stance, as did Blart. However, Hercule was thinking in his head “I’m, I’m gonna get humiliated, with all of these people watching!” A battle of the incompetent do-gooders was ready to start Go for broke! FIGHT! Hercule and Blart both stumbled toward each other, weakly swinging their fists at each other before Hercule launched Blart a few feet distant from himself causing him to fall on his face. Blart regained himself and got back up from the floor, and began making a mad dash away from Hercule. Hercule laughed, “Hah! Can’t even face me like a man, can he?” Hercule asked tauntingly Hercule then took chase to where Paul was running, and as he was running a telephone intentionally sprung up after ringing and whacked Hercule right in the face. Hercule however kept at Blart, and eventually cornered him in a kitchen. “Nowhere to hide from the wrath of, Mr. Satan!” Hercule exclaimed, as he prepared one of his finishers. “Dynamite kick!” Hercule exclaimed as he jumped upwards, unleashing a jump kick at Blart. However Hercule impacted Blart’s gun, but because of how fat it was he just bounced off and banged against one of the pans. Blart also flipped the toaster, causing the toast in it to get launched at Hercule’s face. Stunning him for a moment, as Blart kneed Hercule in the gut and sent him back with Hot Sauce. Hercule ate all of the Spaghetti out of one of the pots, and Blart ate all of the pie in the kitchen before they continued on with the fight. This time, Blart was the one who was the chaser. Blart began chasing Hercule around the mall riding his Segway, and making sure to avoid danger. Hercule however surprisingly just turned around, and exclaimed “Megaton Punch!” before punching Blart. Blart however managed to stay on his Segway, laughing as he managed to do so. That was until he was struck in the face by a pie that was launched at him by Hercule. Hercule then leaped at Blart before he rolled towards him once landing and uppercutting him, Blart was launched up into the air as Hercule threw a barrage of punches and kicks. Hercule then ended that attack, nicknamed the King of Dreamers with lifting Blart and throwing him back into the air. Paul however faceplanted on the ground, but came straight back up. The tenacity of Blart’s was surprising Hercule, so much so that he faked clutching his stomach and kneeled down saying “Aw, my stomach! It hurts!” Blart however could tell he was bluffing. Blart got out his specially modified pistol, which he shot marbles at Hercule. Hercule tried to hand Blart the Game Boy Bomb, but he refused and hit Hercule directly with a marble. Hercule was about to use a Special Grenade, but Hercule was pelted by a shot of dozens of marbles at once. This was due to Blart’s supposed spread marble launcher, which looked very identical to a grenade launcher Blart then got his Segway ready, before he used the High Voltage Taser on Hercule which put him unconscious upon impact. Blart was the superior of the incompetent do-gooders K.O! Blart gained a look of pride and appreciation, and he went off to go and fix the disaster created by the clash of both him and Hercule. Meanwhile Hercule quickly recovered from his battle overtime. This melee’s winner is.. Paul Blart! Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Joke One Minute Melees Category:Ahomeschoolingroudon Category:One Minute Melees with a returning combatant Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:One Minute Melees with Music